I woke up early this morning with this feeling of doubt and uncertainty. Nothing new, same stuff I've been hearing since childhood, but with a twist. This time one sentence was added: God lied to you. He's not going to keep His promise He made to you.
About two years ago July 2008, God gave me a vision about my future and He's been backing it up with scripture and events ever since.
So on top of old feelings of being unworthy or even wanted, I now had this thrown at me. My usual response is to dismiss it as lies from Satan. But see I've been reading my bible with new eyes. This morning during my quiet time I wrote down all the lies Satan has been telling me on one side of the paper and then I opened my bible and concordance and followed Jesus' example. I countered with the word of God and wrote it down on the other side of the paper. When Satan comes after you don't use your own words, crush his lies with God's truth.
Satan tell you you are dirty and used? Speak God's word from Acts 10:15, or 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Satan tell you you are unworthy? Speak God's word from John 3:16, Jeremiah 29:11.
Satan tell you the worst lie of all that God lied to you? Speak God's word from Titus 1:2, Hebrews 6:18.
Write down these verses and pray them outloud. They are part of our armor of God.
Knowing that God cannot lie means you can count on Him always.
I spent some time at Panera today after my morning quiet time, editing my novel. I worked on the first ten chapters. I even ended up adding a chapter. I have faith without doubt that I will be a published author because that is part of the plan God has for my life. If I didn't believe Him then I'm wasting my time. It was Jesus' trust and faith in God that led Him to die on the cross for our sins, knowing He would rise again in three days. It is my faith in Jesus that I am a new creation (2corinthians 5:17), that drives me to live this "new life" in honor to God.
I am to the point where I am praying big prayers. I want to see my writing touch the hearts of those misguided by Satan, those worn out and seeking a Savior. I want to travel to Scotland to do research on my next novel and spread the message of Jesus in every hotel, and cafe I go to there. Travel into London doing the same thing.
If I look at my meager salary as a teacher I am missing the point. God is a supernatural God. If He has placed this desire on my heart then all I need do is pack when the time comes. He will provide. As Jesus said in Matthew 21:21 "Only have faith and do not doubt..."