First day back. Now what?

Today was my first day back. Preplanning for teachers. New school for me. Excited and nervous are how I felt this morning. Everything turned out wonderful and better than I could have imagined. I have one completed novel, and now what? What do I write next? I didn't have an answer for that so I prayed. God said what He always has-just write. Write what's in your heart to write. And therein lies the question. What is in my heart to write? That Scottish novel? Yeah, but I kinna think I need to be doing research there(say it with a Scottish accent love). Ok so that one will have to wait. What else? Hmm. Hollywood is buying sci fi scripts. Have one sci fi screenplay completed, and two great ideas for others. One I've already started, the other is a brand new idea; something that's never been done before. Or I could start work on another young adult novel, or get started on that CGI short film.
So many possibilities. I learned this summer: commit my way to the Lord. Know that He will help me and answer when I call, decide on what I want to write, commit to it, plan it out and stick to the schedule. By doing all the above I was able to write my first novel. Now it's time to pray, consider God's wisdom and get to it.

87 degrees

It's 87 degrees inside my apt. right now and the outside temp. is 91 degrees. I called at 8:30am and 5 hours later still no a/c. My little desk fan only circulates the hot air. I actually opened the patio door and back window hoping they would let in some sort of a breeze. It hasn't. My calls to the emergency maintenance number get answered but the maintenance guy doesn't call me back. They assure me he is getting his paged and calling them. Irritating-yes, I know it will get fixed today. I have faith, but I started wondering about when people die and go to- you know: h, e, double hockey sticks, also called  hades. (I use hades instead of the other word because some filters will block the content if  I don't). Knowing  it's God's desire that none should perish, why do people reject Jesus and choose to go there? What is it like? I'm sitting in an almost 90 degree apt and I've already gone out to the car to sit in the a/c. I can only imagine that place: eternal darkness, the cries of other tortured souls, shrieks of agony and suffering, unimaginable pain and torture, searing heat like sticking your head in a 500 degree oven for fourteen hours, unable to remove it. And of course your companions for all eternity-demons. For all eternity. They hate God, Jesus and us, His creation.  
Hey, the maintenance guy called- he's on his way. Question for you? Who do you know that is unsaved, that you haven't shared the gospel message with? I'm speaking to myself also. Is hades, where you want them to spend eternity, forever, with no possibility of parole? Does it matter to you that they are going to spend forever in darkness and torment? Does it bother you deep in your gut? Yes? Good. What can we do about it? Ask the Holy Spirit to embolden us and give us wisdom to speak the gospel, the truth. Ask God to bring us opportunities to share ( also called witnessing). Ask Jesus to keep us mindful of the price He paid and how much we need to share that gift with those who have not. 
Start this week. Share Jesus with someone. Afraid-ask for courage. And remember where they will spend eternity if you or I don't follow our command from Jesus.

Question

Tonight I have a question for you. Do you see people as who they really are, or do you come with a truckload of prejudices and slap them on that person? I'm just wondering why we don't take the time to look at another person the way God does. Instead we come with our own baggage and strap them on the poor person before tossing them into the ocean. Curious.

What If?

Just a quick blog tonight. I've spent a great deal of today running around and in meetings and such. My summer break has come to a close. There is a Perseid meteor shower at midnight that I am staying up for. I did go for a walk at 9pm, mistakenly thinking I could see it now, but I did catch a view of Venus. My telescope broken and not replaced yet, I had to look at it with my unaided eye. Still the brightest thing in the western sky. As I'm standing looking at Venus and all the constellations out tonight, it reminds me of how small I am. And it generated some story ideas. Science fiction is my first love. I own many first editions (paperbacks) from some of the giants like Bradbury, Asimov, Vogt, Pohl. Tonight I came up with some "what ifs". What ifs are how novelists generate story ideas. What if aliens come and invade and enslave the Earth?-"Childhood's End by Arthur C. Clark. What if someone erases your memory and gives you a brand new identity, but tries to kill you when you start remembering?-"We can remember it for you wholesale." by Philip K. Dick, they "loosely based the movie Total Recall on it. I'm not endorsing that movie btw.
Many of Phillip's short stories were turned into films-minority report, paycheck, bladerunner.
The idea is to start with a what if. I got a great what if just from looking at Venus, and a reminder about a novel/screenplay I wanted to write that is science fiction.
While I'm waiting for midnight to roll around I'm putting on a pot of decaf and cracking open the lap top. Tonight's goal-20 pages of retyping my editing.

Compromise

"If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him..." 1John 2:15 (my paraphrase). I picked up a book from the library. Recommended on a Christian writer's website. He said this book was written by a Christian and said it was amazing; that it tells the story of a man's journey in faith to God. I couldn't wait to read it. Started off good: overseas missionary, questioning his decision, wasn't a prayed over decision. Then I get to page 22 or 23, and the guy is having a discussion with someone and there in print was a very crude curse word. I slammed the book shut. It will be returned to the library today.
When did Christians believe it was okay to follow the world? I wonder if this author, or website owner were face to face with Jesus today would they turn to Him and spit out this vomitous curse word?
When did they loose the ability to see they need to be separate from the world? Can you imagine your pastor getting up on Sunday morning and launching into a string of curse words from the pulpit? Now these authors would argue that "they" are not saying it, their characters are. They would also say they use it to provide realism to their unsaved characters in their writing. I disagree. Thousands of words in the English language and your mind can only grasp a few curse words? If you take the profanity out guess what? It doesn't hinder your story. I actually did that as an experiment with a screenplay of a popular movie I bought. I took a black permanent marker and crossed out and either omitted or replaced all the curse words and used words with more depth and meaning, while still remaining true to the character. It worked.
In the novel I refuse to read further, the author had already established the vile nature of this character, ten pages ago without using curse words. So why add them now? Why add them at all? Christian writers are at the front lines of Spititual battle. Let's show our loyalties are fixed 100% on Jesus.

Change is good

Tomorrow I will be stepping into my new classroom for the second time. The first time was during a workshop and I didn't know at the time it was to be my future classroom, or my future school. I received some disappointing news from a friend at my former job today about changes there, and this job opening at this new school for me was right for me. I'd been at my former school three years. Three years of building friendships with teachers and staff; three years of getting to know students and teach siblings. It's hard. I've had a summer of reflection and change as a person through the power of Christ. The woman that is preparing to go back to work as a teacher is not the same person. That's not to say I'm not sad. I am. Saying goodbye is hard; forming new friendships as much so. Seems like so little a thing but God wants us to bring even the little things to Him. I bring to Him my fear of the unknown, my fear of change, and my worry about the negative change in my finances and I remember: I am His sheep. He is my shepherd. Jehovah Rohi.

I went to a teacher workshop today. As part of the ice breaker we broke up into pairs and had 1 minute to share some facts about us, then we switched turns.
My partner who I will call Jane Doe says to me -"Hi, I'm Jane Doe and I'm unhappily married." She went on to say some other things and then we had to switch. I was able to ask her to clarify her statement which she did, but to respect her privacy I will not give details here. But let me ask you-are you happy?
What would make her happy she says is to get a divorce. I can't think of a single one of my friends who has gone through a divorce that would agree to this statement. Hindsight is 20/20.
I'm not a twenty year veteran of marriage or anything. I still have yet to wear a wedding gown, or cut a wedding cake, or look upon a diamond engagement ring on my finger and not in a store window. (And if by chance my future husband reads this then I would wear whatever ring (size 7 1/2) you get me. Seriously I would. But if you want to know I'd love a 1/4 or 1/2 carat emerald cut diamond set in platinum. Never been one of those 2-5carat diamond ring women. I prefer small and elegant). Sorry being random again. What was I talking about? Oh yeah I'm about to give some marriage advice. How can I do this you say? Well I go straight to the authority-The BIBLE. The bible talks alot about trusting God, about being content in your circumstances, and being like Jesus. The verses I'm listing here, I'm going to put on one of my elegant, girly notecards, and give to her tomorrow. Will she read them. I think so. I shared the fact that I was a Christian with her and she said she was also. Evenso, partner with me in praying for her.
Ready, here are the verses.
1. 1Peter 3:1-2 wives submit to your husband even if he is not walking with God he can be won over by how you live.
2. Galatians 5:22 Fruits of the Spirit. If you keep these close to your heart and be mindful of them before you speak or act it's amazing.
3. 1Corinthians 13:1-13. The love chapter. Make these words come alive in your heart, in your speech, in your actions. Don't feel like it but
know you should, ask Jesus to help you.
4. Galatians 6:9 Don't give up. Keep doing good-harvest is coming.
Will any of this be easy? No. Is any of it impossible? No, as Jesus said in Mark 9:23 "Everything is possible to the one who believes."

I have nothing to say

I have nothing to say. Well, maybe just a little. My summer vacation from teaching is winding down and I am stressed. Stressed about starting at a new school. Stressed about finishing the first revision of my novel and getting it critiqued while I submit a synopsis to agents-go fishing. Stressed about how I'm going to get all these writing projects done. Stressed about whether or not my life is going in the direction God wants it to. Did I hear Him correctly? So I did the only thing that would help.I got on my knees at the edge of my bed and I poured it all out to Jesus. He already knows what's in our heart, but it makes a huge difference when we vocalize what's going on with us internally. That was ten minutes ago and I have "the peace of God that surpasses all understanding..." Philippians 4:7
Armed with that peace I am ready to tackle another night of editing and revising my novel, my eyes firmly fixed on what is "the hope of His calling..." Ephesians 1:18. Be blessed.

Praying Big Prayers

I'm learning to pray big prayers. Last night I went to a gathering of Christian singles. Christian rock praise music, and a great testimony from a woman who was changed by opening up. She reminded me to trust and have faith. My singles' pastor preached a few weeks ago about believing and praying for the impossible. Don't be afraid to. I've been taking him up in that and praying some big prayers. What really spoke to my heart last night was the fact that when she opened up, she started sharing her needs with others. Well I'm going to do that now. Unashamedly. I have two writing needs. The first is for a $200.00 gift certificate to IKEA. I would like to buy a bigger writing desk. One I can put my laptop, and printed manuscript, and thesaurus on all at the same time, as well as an ergonomic chair. Not to delve to far into backstory but in 2001, I was involved in a serious car accident. I got hit by a conversion van on the driver's side door and wheel of my car. The paramedics and ER staff were amazed. They kept telling me I should have died. My neck bent in half from the force of impact and I should have died. God had other plans. My injuries are still apparent and as I write today's blog I feel it. Bending my head down too long at a desk that's too short and the additional pull on my neck from sitting in the wrong chair. Today is a pain day, but still I write.
The second prayer is for $1700.00 to take a trip to Scotland for 10 days to do research for two upcoming novels. Yes that is a lot of money, but I know God wants me to do it, so I know He will put it on someone or someones heart(s) to contribute. I will be acknowledging my donor(s) in my first published novel. Phew! I did it. Opened up and shared my need.
May God richly bless those who answer to my need and those who pray for someone to answer.

Funny Day

Funny day
I went to bed last night at 12 am. My alarm was set for 7am. The wakeup plan-bible study for an hour, followed by four hours of editing my novel. Only one problem- I didn't fall asleep at midnight. 1am rolled around with me sleepy but unable to sleep. I reset the alarm for 8am, and figured while I was up I would pray for people in my life and or dear to my heart. 2am and I am wide awake. I'm getting frustrated because I have alot of work planned for today. I go to the bathroom to pop a benadryl. I pray some more and grab my iPhone. I figured the benadryl will kick in, in about 15 minutes and I'll drift off to sleep. I played checkers, and solitaire and still not sleepy.
3 am. I distinctly remember screaming (softy so I don't freak out my neighbors). No! I'm still wide awake. I have got to get some sleep. Tomorrow (now today), is too important of a writing day for me. I go to my TV.com app and start watching a star trek rerun-where Kirk first meets Khan.
3:30am. Now I fall asleep. Wide awake at 8am, I read through my email devotionals, then I go make my coffee and breakfast and have my quiet time. My brain is mush there is nothing creative in it, so I get to work on cleaning. I grab a box, that I'm almost ashamed to say, that I haven't opened in at least four years. Lots of old photos. A letter from my dad. My grandmothers pearls. It took me two and a half hours to go through that box. Reminiscing. My grandmother's pearls are a reminder of God setting into motion events in my life, in preparation for a promise, a vision that was to come. I have to get one strand fixed but the pearls are beautiful.
I spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out with my daughter. Reminiscing with her.
I didn't accomplish what I thought was important today, but something greater. A chance to reflect on God's goodness and time with my daughter.

Revision is hard work

I've just spent two and a half hours working on revising my novel. My vision is blurry and my neck hurts from being stooped over my manuscript. It's time for my lunch break and mental break. I feel like I've worked twice as long. I added four chapters today. I rewrote an entire scene, and added some peril where it was lacking. Thing of it is, I'm not even halfway through my novel. I reached a point this morning where I couldn't fix a key scene. I threw up my hands, got up from my kitchen table, and flopped down on my couch. I said-Lord I can't fix it. I gave it to Jesus. As soon as I did, a new scene came to mind. I jotted it down-problem fixed.
Reminds me that in my life, and even in your life, Jesus is the problem fixer if we would just step away and give it to Him.
Now I'm going to have an hour and a half lunch, watch a little Dr. Who during, and then type in my corrections and revisions so far.
Feels good to be a writer. Jesus did some major revisions in my life to get me to this point. I'm glad He did.

Fix a flat

Fix a flat is one of the neatest inventions. It pumps this foamy stuff into your flat tire so you can drive on the tire long enough to get the tire fixed. I'm home from orchestra rehearsal and I'm replacing the flat tire in Chapter 9-10, with a permanent replacement. I had to use the flat tire only long enough to get me to where I was going, chapter 11, and to finish my book. The thing about editing is it allows you to go back in and replace whatever you need to. In this case I just added a page of writing in between chapters 9&10. The flat tire required extensive work. The worst thing a writer can do is leave a foamy tire in there and send it off to the publisher thinking no one will notice. But just like the foamy tire that you can't drive on forever, your readers will notice.
So in my editing tonight I took a crucial scene and added more description. I increased the tension and the anxiety level. Now it's riding on a proper tire.

Faith without Doubting

I woke up early this morning with this feeling of doubt and uncertainty. Nothing new, same stuff I've been hearing since childhood, but with a twist. This time one sentence was added: God lied to you. He's not going to keep His promise He made to you.
About two years ago July 2008, God gave me a vision about my future and He's been backing it up with scripture and events ever since.
So on top of old feelings of being unworthy or even wanted, I now had this thrown at me. My usual response is to dismiss it as lies from Satan. But see I've been reading my bible with new eyes. This morning during my quiet time I wrote down all the lies Satan has been telling me on one side of the paper and then I opened my bible and concordance and followed Jesus' example. I countered with the word of God and wrote it down on the other side of the paper. When Satan comes after you don't use your own words, crush his lies with God's truth.
Satan tell you you are dirty and used? Speak God's word from Acts 10:15, or 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Satan tell you you are unworthy? Speak God's word from John 3:16, Jeremiah 29:11.
Satan tell you the worst lie of all that God lied to you? Speak God's word from Titus 1:2, Hebrews 6:18.
Write down these verses and pray them outloud. They are part of our armor of God.
Knowing that God cannot lie means you can count on Him always.
I spent some time at Panera today after my morning quiet time, editing my novel. I worked on the first ten chapters. I even ended up adding a chapter. I have faith without doubt that I will be a published author because that is part of the plan God has for my life. If I didn't believe Him then I'm wasting my time. It was Jesus' trust and faith in God that led Him to die on the cross for our sins, knowing He would rise again in three days. It is my faith in Jesus that I am a new creation (2corinthians 5:17), that drives me to live this "new life" in honor to God.
I am to the point where I am praying big prayers. I want to see my writing touch the hearts of those misguided by Satan, those worn out and seeking a Savior. I want to travel to Scotland to do research on my next novel and spread the message of Jesus in every hotel, and cafe I go to there. Travel into London doing the same thing.
If I look at my meager salary as a teacher I am missing the point. God is a supernatural God. If He has placed this desire on my heart then all I need do is pack when the time comes. He will provide. As Jesus said in Matthew 21:21 "Only have faith and do not doubt..."

11:15 pm

It's 11:15 pm and I am past my nightly deadline. Wait, I can explain. I've been having mother daughter time. My daughter is going to be a junior in high school in a few weeks. So when I have the chance to spend the day with her I take it.
As such I am settling in to spend the next hour making her laugh before I drift off to sleep. 7am and I will be back in the editing seat for my novel.

Prologues and Rice Candy

I'm going through the first revision of my novel. Yesterday I took my printed copy and divided it into chapters (78 to be exact).
I read my first paragraph in chapter one and decided I don't like it as an entry point. Solution: prologue. Writing books differ on the use of a prologue. Some like it, some don't. TV shows use it all the time. It's what you see in the first five minutes. Fantasy books use prologue so I am in good company giving my novel one.
My prologue straps you into the rollercoaster, climbs up the hill and then quickly throws you into the first loop. It's good. And seeing my entire novel in print, all 189 pages, is a testimony to my God and the talent He created me with. I have two weeks before I head back into the classroom. Two weeks to knock out at least one complete revision.
Which brings me to my second point ((it actually doesn't but I'm being random me again), rice candy.
In the orchestra break room today was a bag with little squares of I don't know what. I was curious and lover of food that I am, I tried one. Yum!!
It had a nutty, sweet crunchy taste. One of our trombone players had friends (who were also musicians), visiting from Japan and they brought these to share with us. The one I ate turned out to be a black sugar rice candy. The crunchyness I noticed was the rice. Think of a mini mini brown rice crispy treat with a few toasted nuts. Then I tried the white sugar one. That one was delicious also. Tasted like peanut butter candy. I even tried the seaweed one. Definately a good one for sushi lovers. I didn't try the green tea one but she told me to take a bunch home, which I did. I asked her where I could get some here and she told me they don't sell it here (USA). Just like my Greek candy I can't get it in America. Why!!!
I can see now I have but one choice. I am going to have to do a world food tour. Bring an extra suitcase to carry home all the delicacies I find. Just think of all the writing I can do while exploring new cultures. The evangelizing I can do. Spreading the love of Jesus around the world. I would start in a place that's been in my heart for some time now- the United Kingdom.

Out with the old

I've been doing a major cleaning project in my home. Something God's been prodding me to do for three years, I'm now doing it.
It's been a cleansing process and a reminder of my past life: what was important to me, how much stuff I've accumulated. Yesterday I took five boxes of books to Goodwill and a bag of clothing. I've worn out my poor paper shredder, and I'm going through boxes from my move two years ago.
It feels good to purge all this unnecessary junk. And it's been rewarding. I was going through some papers and I found a bank envelope. The kind they give you at the drive thru teller. I thought to myself as I prepared to throw it away: " wouldn't it be funny if there was money in it?" I open it out of curiosity and shrieked. There was money in it. $40.00.
I said Praise the Lord I can put gas in my car next month.
Due to changing schools I find myself short a week's pay next month. Ouch you say. God just showed me how He blesses obedience.
So right now I'm going back in and finishing my cleaning goal for the day.
He truly is faithful.

Too much

I woke up this morning at 10 am. Two and a half hours later than my usual summer wake up time.
As a result I've been behind the eight ball all day. I know I'm exhausted from being out in the 100 degree weather all week and it caught up with me, but I needed those hours in waking mode not sleeping mode.
I did get my morning quiet time in. More treasures from Mark chapter 1.
I got the first draft of my novel printed out and ready for the first revision.
I had errands I've put off doing all week that I had to do. So now it's 5pm and I have to pick up my daughter and her friend, go to my youngest nephew's karate tournament, and still squeeze in four hours of editing.
Phew.
Yeah that verse is appropriate: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13.