I drove through a rainbow on the way home from a prememorial day get together with friends.
As the celebration wound down, we watched some videos of Casting Crowns, and The Newsboys. The lead singer of the Newsboys had an amazing testimony about his life and walking away from God; having Satan fill his head with doubt and lies, and the power of Jesus that brought him back around. He now uses the talents God created him with to reach others through his music. That is his form of spiritual worship.
I started thinking about my turn around and return to the Lord. My spiritual worship, my living sacrifice. Am I doing it, or am I still listening to lies?
I have to admit, I get discouraged from working 8 hours a day, in a spiritually void place. I realized I was letting Satan plant weeds around the truth about the plans God has for me.
I confessed them immediately to God; and realized the truth of God will happen. Let that joy fill my heart to overflow.
On the drive home, I was reflecting on my choice to let my belief in God's promises radiate out from me, letting that joy continue to shine on my face, when I saw it--the rainbow: God's promise in Genesis 9:12-14.
The rainbow is a symbol of God's covenant, His promise.
Now I don't know If you've ever driven through a rainbow, but I have to tell you, it was an Awesome experience.
To reflect on God's promises, to purpose in my heart to believe them, and just at that moment to come around the corner, no other car nearby, to see that rainbow and realize I could drive through it, and did it...definately a God moment.
31 May, 2010
26 May, 2010
Preparation
This may not seem like it's on the same track, but catch the train anyway.
I was reminded of a story today "....awful, no good, very bad day." That was today. Nothing went right. Issues at work. Issues at home. Grandmother had a mini stroke.
I was down low today. Ant-level low. So I went to church. They have a great dinner on Wed. Nights. I actually had pistachio ice cream for dessert, and found that I like it.
Preparation
The Pastor was preaching out of Revelation
Revelation 19:7
7 Let us be glad, rejoice, and give Him glory,
because the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and His wife has prepared herself.
My eyes kept going back to that last sentence.
What did she do? Say it with me class...she prepared herself.
Uh oh, I thought. I haven't really done much preparation for Jesus' return. I'm not using the talents He gave me to the fullest.
Think about a bride on her wedding day. She doesn't jump out of bed, throw her dress over her head, and go the church.
No! She takes time to prepare herself.
Being a good writer takes preparation. Preparation requires lots of practice.
I had reached a point today, where I was at the end of my rope. So I grabbed a stool, clipboard, and some journal paper and sat outside.
Off the top of my head, I jotted down one line. "This is the last diary entry for Henrietta Blacksmith."
I then went on to write a cliffhanger of an opening.
I read it back to myself and got excited. It's good.
I'm not going to add to it right now. I'm going to leave it in it's,top of the roller coaster, cliffhanger status as I have a young adult novel to finish and another one after that. Then I'll have time for Henry-girl.
Preparation
A successful writer has to be able to write no matter the circumstance. If this is to be my way of life then I need practice on how to keep writing through trials and difficulties.
Today showed me: yes I can write while under enormous stress, and turn out good work.
Preparation to be a writer, while learning to trust and obey God. Good preparation.
I was reminded of a story today "....awful, no good, very bad day." That was today. Nothing went right. Issues at work. Issues at home. Grandmother had a mini stroke.
I was down low today. Ant-level low. So I went to church. They have a great dinner on Wed. Nights. I actually had pistachio ice cream for dessert, and found that I like it.
Preparation
The Pastor was preaching out of Revelation
Revelation 19:7
7 Let us be glad, rejoice, and give Him glory,
because the marriage of the Lamb has come,
and His wife has prepared herself.
My eyes kept going back to that last sentence.
What did she do? Say it with me class...she prepared herself.
Uh oh, I thought. I haven't really done much preparation for Jesus' return. I'm not using the talents He gave me to the fullest.
Think about a bride on her wedding day. She doesn't jump out of bed, throw her dress over her head, and go the church.
No! She takes time to prepare herself.
Being a good writer takes preparation. Preparation requires lots of practice.
I had reached a point today, where I was at the end of my rope. So I grabbed a stool, clipboard, and some journal paper and sat outside.
Off the top of my head, I jotted down one line. "This is the last diary entry for Henrietta Blacksmith."
I then went on to write a cliffhanger of an opening.
I read it back to myself and got excited. It's good.
I'm not going to add to it right now. I'm going to leave it in it's,top of the roller coaster, cliffhanger status as I have a young adult novel to finish and another one after that. Then I'll have time for Henry-girl.
Preparation
A successful writer has to be able to write no matter the circumstance. If this is to be my way of life then I need practice on how to keep writing through trials and difficulties.
Today showed me: yes I can write while under enormous stress, and turn out good work.
Preparation to be a writer, while learning to trust and obey God. Good preparation.
23 May, 2010
Blessings and Perception
During my quiet time one day a thought popped into my head: would you like to be able to do a writer's retreat, even if it was only for three days away in a hotel?
I said yeah I'd love to, but I have to fill my summer with paying teacher workshops.
I've been putting off doing my summer budget because I knew I didn't have enough to make it through. But I prayed and put everything in God's hands and began jotting down what my bills would be for the next three months. Because although summer break is only two months, the school year starts so late I actually need to cover an extra month.
So I listed everything. Cringed at the figure listed, and then listed my income through the end of this school year, plus my savings.
God moment.
I don't have to work this summer.
Not only that...
I can do a writing retreat while my daughter is at church summer camp.
Obedience is blessed by God. I know God really wants me to focus on getting this Young Adult novel completed. It's a Christian fantasy book (think CS Lewis or JRR Tolkein).
Having the summer off I have no excuse not to write at least 6hours a day.
So what does that have to do with perception?
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with your whole heart and lean not on your own understanding...
I made a choice about two weeks ago to obey God's call for me to live a life apart, to obey Him even when I don't understand.
Part of that is witnessing more and sharing His love with lost people.
Unfortunately, when you spend time ministering to the world, there are those Christians who think you've gone back to the world; look at you as if you are a backslider.
It pains my heart but I know I'm in God's will in what I'm doing and those that truly know me and love me will not mistake the glow on my face as coming from anywhere but Christ.
I wish more Christians had a heart for the world.
Perception: God does not bless disobedience. A summer off so I can write is a blessing for my repentance and obedience.
Now I wonder what will happen to my reputation when I start hanging out with prostitutes on Nebraska Ave sharing coffee and Gospels of John with them?
I said yeah I'd love to, but I have to fill my summer with paying teacher workshops.
I've been putting off doing my summer budget because I knew I didn't have enough to make it through. But I prayed and put everything in God's hands and began jotting down what my bills would be for the next three months. Because although summer break is only two months, the school year starts so late I actually need to cover an extra month.
So I listed everything. Cringed at the figure listed, and then listed my income through the end of this school year, plus my savings.
God moment.
I don't have to work this summer.
Not only that...
I can do a writing retreat while my daughter is at church summer camp.
Obedience is blessed by God. I know God really wants me to focus on getting this Young Adult novel completed. It's a Christian fantasy book (think CS Lewis or JRR Tolkein).
Having the summer off I have no excuse not to write at least 6hours a day.
So what does that have to do with perception?
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with your whole heart and lean not on your own understanding...
I made a choice about two weeks ago to obey God's call for me to live a life apart, to obey Him even when I don't understand.
Part of that is witnessing more and sharing His love with lost people.
Unfortunately, when you spend time ministering to the world, there are those Christians who think you've gone back to the world; look at you as if you are a backslider.
It pains my heart but I know I'm in God's will in what I'm doing and those that truly know me and love me will not mistake the glow on my face as coming from anywhere but Christ.
I wish more Christians had a heart for the world.
Perception: God does not bless disobedience. A summer off so I can write is a blessing for my repentance and obedience.
Now I wonder what will happen to my reputation when I start hanging out with prostitutes on Nebraska Ave sharing coffee and Gospels of John with them?
22 May, 2010
Disappointment
I've never been really good at handling disappointment. Which isn't good if you want to be a writer. You can't win every contest, or even place in the top ten all the time.
The past two writing contests I've entered I didn't win.
On the positive side the feedback from the 48 hour screenwriting contest shows I improved dramatically in the areas I was weak in the first time I submitted a screenplay.
At first I was so disappointed I didn't make it to round two. But then I reminded myself that I should read the judge's feedback and see if I agree or not...I did.
The feedback actually encouraged me. "solid scenes, well drawn characters, crisp dialogue."
Huge improvement over "flat characters, weak protagonist".
Even though I didn't make it to the second round I feel my writing has grown and that's the direction I need to be headed in.
The past two writing contests I've entered I didn't win.
On the positive side the feedback from the 48 hour screenwriting contest shows I improved dramatically in the areas I was weak in the first time I submitted a screenplay.
At first I was so disappointed I didn't make it to round two. But then I reminded myself that I should read the judge's feedback and see if I agree or not...I did.
The feedback actually encouraged me. "solid scenes, well drawn characters, crisp dialogue."
Huge improvement over "flat characters, weak protagonist".
Even though I didn't make it to the second round I feel my writing has grown and that's the direction I need to be headed in.
Disappointment
I've never been really good at handling disappointment. Which isn't good if you want to be a writer. You can't win every contest, or even place in the top ten all the time.
The past two writing contests I've entered I didn't win.
On the positive side the feedback from the 48 hour screenwriting contest shows I improved dramatically in the areas I was weak in the first time I submitted a screenplay.
At first I was so disappointed I didn't make it to round two. But then I reminded myself that I should read the judge's feedback and see if I agree or not...I did.
The feedback actually encouraged me. "solid scenes, well drawn characters, crisp dialogue."
Huge improvement over "flat characters, weak protagonist".
Even though I didn't make it to the second round I feel my writing has grown and that's the direction I need to be headed in.
The past two writing contests I've entered I didn't win.
On the positive side the feedback from the 48 hour screenwriting contest shows I improved dramatically in the areas I was weak in the first time I submitted a screenplay.
At first I was so disappointed I didn't make it to round two. But then I reminded myself that I should read the judge's feedback and see if I agree or not...I did.
The feedback actually encouraged me. "solid scenes, well drawn characters, crisp dialogue."
Huge improvement over "flat characters, weak protagonist".
Even though I didn't make it to the second round I feel my writing has grown and that's the direction I need to be headed in.
19 May, 2010
Running
I went to a paved trail with the intent and purpose of walking 3 miles. Now God had already told me He wants me back running (jogging). So I started my walk. As I walked my mind and spirit were restless. I could not figure out why. So I prayed to Jesus. “What is wrong?” Yeah, you can already see the answer can’t you. “You're supposed to be running.” Is what He said.
So I said “Ok Lord. I’ll run the last ¼ mile back.” Then I stopped myself, literally in my tracks. “No” I told myself. I’m not supposed to be bargaining with God. I am supposed to say an obedient Yes and do whatever He asks of me. So I ran the last 1.5 miles back.
I wish I could say it was easy. It wasn’t. I am out of shape. (I haven’t seriously run in 5 years.) I had to stop a few times. Each time I stopped. Jesus would press me forward. “Ok Desiree, go to that tree and then rest. Go to that shade area and then rest.” I kept praying as I ran. The sweat running down my face, into my eyes. At the next rest stop I told Jesus I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to finish and please help me to not stop. He did. I ran the last ¼ mile without stopping. I cranked up Toby Mac on the iPod part of my iPhone and looked at my feet as I ran. Jesus said: “Don’t look ahead, that’s the future. Look at the here and now and focus on what needs to be done now.”
You should have seen the smile on my face when Jesus said “Look up. You’re done.” You know without Jesus, it’s difficult and you want to just quit for good. With Jesus, it’s actually possible.
So I said “Ok Lord. I’ll run the last ¼ mile back.” Then I stopped myself, literally in my tracks. “No” I told myself. I’m not supposed to be bargaining with God. I am supposed to say an obedient Yes and do whatever He asks of me. So I ran the last 1.5 miles back.
I wish I could say it was easy. It wasn’t. I am out of shape. (I haven’t seriously run in 5 years.) I had to stop a few times. Each time I stopped. Jesus would press me forward. “Ok Desiree, go to that tree and then rest. Go to that shade area and then rest.” I kept praying as I ran. The sweat running down my face, into my eyes. At the next rest stop I told Jesus I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to finish and please help me to not stop. He did. I ran the last ¼ mile without stopping. I cranked up Toby Mac on the iPod part of my iPhone and looked at my feet as I ran. Jesus said: “Don’t look ahead, that’s the future. Look at the here and now and focus on what needs to be done now.”
You should have seen the smile on my face when Jesus said “Look up. You’re done.” You know without Jesus, it’s difficult and you want to just quit for good. With Jesus, it’s actually possible.
Goals
Goals
I had a great meeting with my Pastor on Monday. He reminded me about the importance of setting goals. I’ve never prayerfully set goals before. Today (Monday), I had my quiet time and used it to set goals. I started with listening to praise music and reading my bible.
As I began, I felt the Holy Spirit impressing upon me to set not only a writing goal, but a spiritual goal. So I wrote my goals as a request to God.
“What is my spiritual goal this year?” And guess what? God answered. Then I asked “What is my writing goal this year?” and again God answered. God did not want me to put down a 5 or 10 year goal.
I finished writing other questions and God’s responses to them. When I looked at what I had written I knew I had had an encounter with the Living God.
I had a great meeting with my Pastor on Monday. He reminded me about the importance of setting goals. I’ve never prayerfully set goals before. Today (Monday), I had my quiet time and used it to set goals. I started with listening to praise music and reading my bible.
As I began, I felt the Holy Spirit impressing upon me to set not only a writing goal, but a spiritual goal. So I wrote my goals as a request to God.
“What is my spiritual goal this year?” And guess what? God answered. Then I asked “What is my writing goal this year?” and again God answered. God did not want me to put down a 5 or 10 year goal.
I finished writing other questions and God’s responses to them. When I looked at what I had written I knew I had had an encounter with the Living God.
13 May, 2010
Birthday Countdown
6 days until my birthday. Time for some reflection. I can definitely say I am not the same person I was last year or any year prior.
It feels weird in a good way, this freedom in Christ.
I am in no way perfect and I do still make mistakes, but praying and reading my bible reminds me to stay God focused, not circumstances focused.
I have so many questions.
The women's book I'm writing... I want it to be done right. The goal is that the focus is not on me and any "elegant" words I may use, but on turning these women's eyes and hearts to Jesus, letting Him in to clean house.
So as the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13 I am forgetting was was behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead...
Yeah I'm excited to see God's plan for me arrive at that appointed time.
This year really is Happy Birthday!
It feels weird in a good way, this freedom in Christ.
I am in no way perfect and I do still make mistakes, but praying and reading my bible reminds me to stay God focused, not circumstances focused.
I have so many questions.
The women's book I'm writing... I want it to be done right. The goal is that the focus is not on me and any "elegant" words I may use, but on turning these women's eyes and hearts to Jesus, letting Him in to clean house.
So as the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 3:13 I am forgetting was was behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead...
Yeah I'm excited to see God's plan for me arrive at that appointed time.
This year really is Happy Birthday!
10 May, 2010
The Vision
Habakkuk 2:3 “The vision is yet for the appointed TIME. It testifies about the end and does not LIE. Though it tarries, wait for it, for it WILL surely come and not be LATE.
Sunday I stood in front of my bible fellowship class (Sunday School), and explained why I got re-baptized the past Wednesday. In a nutshell when you run from God, He doesn’t run from you. I’m now embracing the life My Lord wants for me and that’s the reason for the verse from Habakkuk. He’s one of the Minor Prophets in the Old Testament. I’m not sure how a prophet can be minor, but it’s a short book in the bible. It’s been almost three years since God gave me a vision. In my fear I ran from it, but even Moses would agree: You can’t escape who you are created to be.
In these three years, I have come to know more about me, about my Savior Jesus, and about the world around me. I’ve come to understand what refining fire is, and I’ve come to understand that I do nothing in this life with my own strength, but through Christ who lives in me.
All that is within me says the TIME is now. Time for more focus on my writing. Time to prepare my heart. Time for God’s vision. Does that mean it will happen tomorrow? I don’t know. What I do know is that God’s train is pulling into the station again, and this time instead of running away, I’m running to hop on board.
Sunday I stood in front of my bible fellowship class (Sunday School), and explained why I got re-baptized the past Wednesday. In a nutshell when you run from God, He doesn’t run from you. I’m now embracing the life My Lord wants for me and that’s the reason for the verse from Habakkuk. He’s one of the Minor Prophets in the Old Testament. I’m not sure how a prophet can be minor, but it’s a short book in the bible. It’s been almost three years since God gave me a vision. In my fear I ran from it, but even Moses would agree: You can’t escape who you are created to be.
In these three years, I have come to know more about me, about my Savior Jesus, and about the world around me. I’ve come to understand what refining fire is, and I’ve come to understand that I do nothing in this life with my own strength, but through Christ who lives in me.
All that is within me says the TIME is now. Time for more focus on my writing. Time to prepare my heart. Time for God’s vision. Does that mean it will happen tomorrow? I don’t know. What I do know is that God’s train is pulling into the station again, and this time instead of running away, I’m running to hop on board.
08 May, 2010
Jahovah Jireh (God provides)
God provides
Genesis 22 tells the story of Abraham and Isaac and how Abraham demonstrated his trust in God.
God promises. God provides.
I have a clear direction from God as to what He wants me to write next.
It will be painful to write. It will shed light on some old wounds that need to be healed.
Ultimately God wants to use it to bring healing to other women.
Tonight I'll be looking back over the outline, refining it through prayer.
A life set apart is what God has asked of me. With His strength I'm ready.
Genesis 22 tells the story of Abraham and Isaac and how Abraham demonstrated his trust in God.
God promises. God provides.
I have a clear direction from God as to what He wants me to write next.
It will be painful to write. It will shed light on some old wounds that need to be healed.
Ultimately God wants to use it to bring healing to other women.
Tonight I'll be looking back over the outline, refining it through prayer.
A life set apart is what God has asked of me. With His strength I'm ready.
04 May, 2010
Let the countdown begin
No, I don't mean to the end of the school year. I mean the countdown to... Wait? Yes I do. Sorry being random again.
Looking forward to a summer of writing.
In 12 days I find out if I made it to round two of the screenwriting competition I entered last month.
It was 48 hours to write one scene. I think I wrote a solid, passionate scene, with living, breathing characters.
Emailing the first three pages of a hard core science fiction story to a best selling author to see if it gets me into his workshop.
Still reading as much as I can. Bible takes precedence.
Did get some revision writing done tonight as well as squeezed in time for exercise.
What is important we make time for.
Looking forward to a summer of writing.
In 12 days I find out if I made it to round two of the screenwriting competition I entered last month.
It was 48 hours to write one scene. I think I wrote a solid, passionate scene, with living, breathing characters.
Emailing the first three pages of a hard core science fiction story to a best selling author to see if it gets me into his workshop.
Still reading as much as I can. Bible takes precedence.
Did get some revision writing done tonight as well as squeezed in time for exercise.
What is important we make time for.
03 May, 2010
Getting ready
Pausing during a five mile walk. Thank you Mary Carmen.
It helps to sweat while listening to praise music and praying. I feel sweaty yes, but I also feel
Yeah, what do I feel?
Saw an abandoned truck area that gave me an idea for a sci fi short story.
Thoughts about the dream I keep having about my living in a Spanish speaking country. Being outdoors helps me to think about my repeat dream and helps relax me from a stressful day in the classroom, so I can go home and write.
It helps to sweat while listening to praise music and praying. I feel sweaty yes, but I also feel
Yeah, what do I feel?
Saw an abandoned truck area that gave me an idea for a sci fi short story.
Thoughts about the dream I keep having about my living in a Spanish speaking country. Being outdoors helps me to think about my repeat dream and helps relax me from a stressful day in the classroom, so I can go home and write.
02 May, 2010
Renewal
Renewal
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so you may know what is that good, perfect, and pleasing will of God. Romans chapter 12 verse 2.
Words to live by? Yes. Words to commit my writing to? Definitely.
Today I re-dedicated my life to Jesus Christ.
I'm reading a book about knowing God's will.
I'm also reading some hard core science fiction to prime the pump so to speak.
There are two types of writing I'm most passionate about: science fiction , and Christian non-fiction.
What I feel God drawing me towards is to write science fiction and fantasy from a Christian perspective. It fits my life like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle.
I also have to look over the first ten pages of a manuscript I am preparing to submit to a science fiction writing workshop. It will either be my ticket in, or I'll get a thanks but no thanks reply.
Either response is independent of my being obedient to God.
Mine is to obey. His is to open doors.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so you may know what is that good, perfect, and pleasing will of God. Romans chapter 12 verse 2.
Words to live by? Yes. Words to commit my writing to? Definitely.
Today I re-dedicated my life to Jesus Christ.
I'm reading a book about knowing God's will.
I'm also reading some hard core science fiction to prime the pump so to speak.
There are two types of writing I'm most passionate about: science fiction , and Christian non-fiction.
What I feel God drawing me towards is to write science fiction and fantasy from a Christian perspective. It fits my life like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle.
I also have to look over the first ten pages of a manuscript I am preparing to submit to a science fiction writing workshop. It will either be my ticket in, or I'll get a thanks but no thanks reply.
Either response is independent of my being obedient to God.
Mine is to obey. His is to open doors.
29 April, 2010
Revelation
I love that song from Third Day.
I've been asking God to reveal His will for me and He has. The parts He knows I'm ready for.
I'm looking at the ultimate goal: to be a full time writer.
What I haven't done is sat down and looked at a time line for completing this and formulated an action plan.
A goal is a wonderful thing to have, but if you don't have a prayed over plan in place it stays a dream and nothing more. I have a three day weekend ahead of me.
Tonight is the drafting of my time line and action plan. Tomorrow is when I implement it.
Stay tuned and follow me on my focused journey to becoming a full time writer.
I've been asking God to reveal His will for me and He has. The parts He knows I'm ready for.
I'm looking at the ultimate goal: to be a full time writer.
What I haven't done is sat down and looked at a time line for completing this and formulated an action plan.
A goal is a wonderful thing to have, but if you don't have a prayed over plan in place it stays a dream and nothing more. I have a three day weekend ahead of me.
Tonight is the drafting of my time line and action plan. Tomorrow is when I implement it.
Stay tuned and follow me on my focused journey to becoming a full time writer.
26 April, 2010
Description
My writing goal this week is to work on description.
Sitting at my fav. retreat spot. The brush is so thick, there's almost more darkness than light. The green leaves fan out with red veins pulsating in them. Here and there dead leaves fight for sunlight. They don't know their time has passed. You dare not touch them though. Hidden within are tiny, brown thorns, so razor sharp, the simple act of breathing on them would cut you.
Can you picture it? I'd like to know. You can post anonymously if you like.
Sitting at my fav. retreat spot. The brush is so thick, there's almost more darkness than light. The green leaves fan out with red veins pulsating in them. Here and there dead leaves fight for sunlight. They don't know their time has passed. You dare not touch them though. Hidden within are tiny, brown thorns, so razor sharp, the simple act of breathing on them would cut you.
Can you picture it? I'd like to know. You can post anonymously if you like.
25 April, 2010
It's Gonna Storm
There's a couple getting engaged right beside me.
I'm sitting with a view of outside, watching it prepare to storm. I was thinking about how many short stories and novels have been written based around a storm.
Storms have an emotional impact.
Everyone has been through a storm, whether physically or emotionally, or sometimes both at the same time if you live in Florida and have experienced a hurricane.
Storms make you want to run. You want to get as far away from them as possible. Even to outer Mongolia.
But...
I started thinking about Matthew 8:23-27 when Jesus was in the boat with the disciples, and a great storm arose. So great a storm that the waves were crashing over the boat and the boat was filling with water. Jesus was asleep. They woke him. But they didn't say: "Hey Jesus, you just feed 5,000 can you make the storm go away?"
No what they said is "Don't you care?" Don't you care that this storm is going to overcome us and cause us to die? Don't you care about what's happening?
And Jesus responded: "Why are you fearful, you of little faith."
It was like He was saying. I'm in the boat. I'm Jesus. If I'm not anxious or worried, neither should you be. But you need to ride this storm out so you can understand it is not your power that gets you through storms in your life but mine.
I have a storm right now. I want to run and hide but I'm choosing to do the opposite. I'm going to stand up in the boat, stretch out my arms, pray to my Savior, and let the storm wash over me. I know He's got me.
I'm sitting with a view of outside, watching it prepare to storm. I was thinking about how many short stories and novels have been written based around a storm.
Storms have an emotional impact.
Everyone has been through a storm, whether physically or emotionally, or sometimes both at the same time if you live in Florida and have experienced a hurricane.
Storms make you want to run. You want to get as far away from them as possible. Even to outer Mongolia.
But...
I started thinking about Matthew 8:23-27 when Jesus was in the boat with the disciples, and a great storm arose. So great a storm that the waves were crashing over the boat and the boat was filling with water. Jesus was asleep. They woke him. But they didn't say: "Hey Jesus, you just feed 5,000 can you make the storm go away?"
No what they said is "Don't you care?" Don't you care that this storm is going to overcome us and cause us to die? Don't you care about what's happening?
And Jesus responded: "Why are you fearful, you of little faith."
It was like He was saying. I'm in the boat. I'm Jesus. If I'm not anxious or worried, neither should you be. But you need to ride this storm out so you can understand it is not your power that gets you through storms in your life but mine.
I have a storm right now. I want to run and hide but I'm choosing to do the opposite. I'm going to stand up in the boat, stretch out my arms, pray to my Savior, and let the storm wash over me. I know He's got me.
24 April, 2010
Keeping a Journal can be a Dangerous Thing
I was sitting on my porch yesterday afternoon watching the ducks, and writing in my journal. Out of curiosity, I flipped to the first page. It was dated 4/18/09. Almost a year to the date. I read what I had written. Now what you hope would have happened is that you saw some growth in your life in that time span. Not a regression. Not stuck in time.
On that date, I had just finished reading about self-care. It’s for those of us who are burned out on life and everything and can’t figure out why.
A really good read. I’ll try to post the exact name of the book and the author.
Anyway, in this journal entry I was sitting in Lake Park by the water and writing about the changes I needed to make in my life to take better self-care of myself. I wrote down obvious things, like my need to take time to hike in the woods at least once a week, creating a space in my home that reflects who I am, that is both calming and relaxing.
But what surprised me is what else I wrote. Some of it is too personal to note here, but I will state that I wrote how I wanted to travel out west. Now I’ve seen the southwest. Texas, Arizona. But I’ve always had this burning desire ever since I was a kid to see the mountain states like Montana, Colorado, North and South Dakota, Oregon, Washington, (even dipping into Canada to see Vancouver).
Sitting on my porch yesterday, I had this wild idea. My lease is up June 30th. What if I just put my stuff in storage for the summer and headed west?
If I travel solo, I would have to stay in hotels, and miss camping in the national parks. It would be better with a friend. To camp out, to reflect on the day, over a campfire at night. And the stars at night viewed through a backpacker telescope. Awesome sight to be held.
How relaxing and freeing an experience it would be.
How much writing I could accomplish, away from the city and its distractions.
Hmm. Decisions, decisions. You’ll have to stay tuned and see what happens.
On that date, I had just finished reading about self-care. It’s for those of us who are burned out on life and everything and can’t figure out why.
A really good read. I’ll try to post the exact name of the book and the author.
Anyway, in this journal entry I was sitting in Lake Park by the water and writing about the changes I needed to make in my life to take better self-care of myself. I wrote down obvious things, like my need to take time to hike in the woods at least once a week, creating a space in my home that reflects who I am, that is both calming and relaxing.
But what surprised me is what else I wrote. Some of it is too personal to note here, but I will state that I wrote how I wanted to travel out west. Now I’ve seen the southwest. Texas, Arizona. But I’ve always had this burning desire ever since I was a kid to see the mountain states like Montana, Colorado, North and South Dakota, Oregon, Washington, (even dipping into Canada to see Vancouver).
Sitting on my porch yesterday, I had this wild idea. My lease is up June 30th. What if I just put my stuff in storage for the summer and headed west?
If I travel solo, I would have to stay in hotels, and miss camping in the national parks. It would be better with a friend. To camp out, to reflect on the day, over a campfire at night. And the stars at night viewed through a backpacker telescope. Awesome sight to be held.
How relaxing and freeing an experience it would be.
How much writing I could accomplish, away from the city and its distractions.
Hmm. Decisions, decisions. You’ll have to stay tuned and see what happens.
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