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09 June, 2010

It's Time

I started reading Mark yesterday. In the first few chapters, I have been struck by how the disciples immediately followed Jesus when he called them. They didn’t say “let me get this fish harvest in”, or “I can’t right now. I have a deadline”, or” I will when I’m done.” They immediately followed him. Even Matthew left his tax collecting table and followed Jesus. He didn’t say “let me finish out this year.” He got up and followed Jesus.
God brings a lot of things to mind that reflect back on my writing, on purpose.
The school year is officially over on June 14th. I start back to work early on August 9th. Less than two months to regroup.
I think about the sacrificing the disciples did to follow what Jesus commanded. And I wonder… what am I sacrificing for my writing?
My best writing is done when I am in the zone. It takes at least 30 minutes of writing for me to get in the zone. Once there, I can crank out 3-4 hours writing without even realizing that much time has passed.
My summer starts on June 14th around 2:30ish. My desire is to do a spiritual/writing retreat.
Being a list person I listed out what I need for my retreat.
Bible and Journal
Electricity for my laptop (unless I write it all long hand).
Far away from home (so I can’t just pop in).
So I have my list and my direction and what did I do with it yesterday? Nothing.
I prayed this morning that God would help me let go of whatever is keeping me from being 100% obedient to what He is asking me to do. After saying my prayer I opened two daily devotionals on my computer. The first had to do with Psalm 23. Sunday evening my church held communion service based on Psalm 23. I recognized God as Jehovah Rohi (The Lord is my Shepherd). It reminded me what Jesus said in John 10 about Him being the good shepherd. We (sheep) follow Him. I want to follow Jesus no matter where it leads. But somehow I wandered off from my Shepherd. I guess I thought I saw some grass that looked better. But it turned out to be just weeds in disguise.
The second devotional had to do with Matthew 8:18-22. As I read it I was floored. My mouth literally hung open. The scribe wanted to follow Jesus but said “first let me go…” The scribe wanted to do what he needed to do before following Jesus.
A scribe is a writer. So here is a writer choosing his own path first, and then he wanted to do what Jesus wanted. Ouch! I’m a writer that has put everything before her writing. Writing that Jesus has placed in her heart to do.
My prayer was that I would let go of everything that is keeping me from 100% obedience. So I’ll be doing that spiritual/writing retreat starting this weekend; using the time to work on my connection to God and jump starting my writing.
Just like Matthew left his tax collection table and immediately followed Jesus. I’ll be finishing the school year by packing up my personal belongings, turning on my laptop and writing. In obedience His will is revealed.
Have faith in God.

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