What type of writer am I?

What kind of writer am I? 2020 is turning into an interesting year for me. I’ve written and submitted poetry and essays. Yet I’ve always considered myself a fiction writer. Time is a funny construct. It gives us room to shift and grow and change and be re-formed into something completely new. Time asks nothing from us but that it be used. And used well, until there is nothing left in the vessel of time but empty space. If you’d asked me three years ago what type of writing I do, I would have said, “YA SciFi and Horror, novels and screenplays”. I never would have said, “I’ve been exploring the depth of the kaleidoscope of color on the end of a grain of sand—in words and harmony through poetry.” I am still hard at work on my adult horror novel (another new thing for me), while I explore this new person I’ve become who pulls back the petals of a fresh rose to show the world the delicate workings within that brings life to the bees. 2020 People say it’s synonymous with perfect vision. I tend to not see perfection in anything (except Twinkies). Even nature throws a slight curve into the symmetry of a butterfly’s wings. I think 2020 is the beginning of near vision. And as I continue to dig deeper into my writing (I’m preparing to undertake a huge research project for a book), I am reminded to see beyond the first glance. Dive deep. Tell it true. And tell it with heart.

Break the Mold and Be Free

Break the Mold Last night I painted. I haven’t painted in over ten years. It was past time. I broke out my watercolors and acrylics. The first painting I did was horrible. Why? It was confined. Restricted. See, my high school art teacher would correct me whenever I tried to draw or paint abstract. Even in advanced art honors classes she would continue. I was never allowed to unleash me. Now I won lots of awards for my scenes of wildflowers and farm life, but there was something inside me that wanted to break out of the “expected of me” mold I had been shoved into. Last night. I took a blank sheet of mixed media paper, acrylic paints and watercolors and placed them before me. I turned up the cello music. Closed my eyes and let myself feel. Opened my eyes (sometimes). And I painted. I haven’t thought of a name for it, my painting, but a family member saw it and was amazed by it. Said she could see raw emotion in it. Today I got back to writing poetry. And I decided to do what I did for my painting. I chose to not write in the confines of stanza and line breaks and iambic pentameter. I wrote from my inner core. Five poems. My fiction writing has changed as well. My adult novel is full of hope and despair; love and perseverance. I don’t flinch from anything in this novel. I hope to finish it in March. Whatever is holding you back. Break out of it. Be free.

My first novel is out!

There's something amazing about holding the first copy of your novel in your hands. Flipping through the pages. Smelling the glossy cover. I was able to do that. My first Young Adult, Fantasy (with some Sci-fi elements), novel is out. And I feel extremely blessed. Jesus has taken me on this journey of self discovery. Showed me my true purpose. Gave me the tools to make my dream come true. And this is just the beginning. The Blue Key: Quest for Peace is part one of a series. Part two has already been outlined and I will commence writing it this July. FULL TIME! Thank you to my family and friends who made this novel possible. My proof copy of The Blue Key: Quest for Peace, sits on my bookshelf next to the first bible I bought when I was saved. It's in the right place. Do I have any regrets about this novel? I regret that I spent years sending it to agents and getting it rejected, instead of listening to people (including young adults), who loved it and begged me to publish it so they could finish reading the entire novel. LISTEN TO YOUR AUDIENCE. THEY KNOW BETTER! My second novel is also a series. This one is 100% Sci-fi. I'm almost done with revisions on it. Then it will sit for a few weeks while I work on final edits to a suicide screenplay I'm putting finishing touches on. Then that novel will hopefully be ready to publish in August of this year. Thank you again for all those who believed in me and cheered me on. You guys are amazing!

There is no Plan B

When you make a choice to pursue a dream, you will sometime hear advice that goes like this... "Make sure you have a back up plan", or "make sure you have something to fall back on". Here's the problem with that line of thinking, it's not based on faith. Faith is the "evidence of things not seen". That means you have to jump even though you can't see the ground. Now people that say the aforementioned statements to you mean well. But you were created for boldness. Be bold. Take that dream, that passion, and put yourself into it 100%. Don't have a Plan B. Here is what I've learned. If you have a Plan B, you will never devote yourself to your dream more than 80%. Sometimes not even 50%. There will always be apart of you that you hold back. Here is what I know. You only have one life on this planet. God didn't give you this life for you to play it safe with Plan B. He meant for you to go all out and pursue that dream with everything you have. Plan A. An uncle of my reminded me of something. When you do what you love (Plan A), you'll never work a day in your life. Work is Plan B. Let's decide to get rid of these Plan Bs. They weigh us down, choke the dreams out of us, and do nothing to bring joy in our lives. Take sometime to remember what your Plan A was. Prepare yourself for your Plan A and then jump.

Fried Mushrooms

Shared fried mushrooms tonight with a friend. They were actually pretty good. I liked them because they have a hard, crunchy exterior, surrounding a warm and mushy interior. Sometimes I spend so much time building up that hard, crunchy exterior, that I don't often show the warm, mushy me. Having that hard outer shell keeps me from relaxing and being my true self 100% of the time.

Women tend to judge ourselves against other women. Or we change to fit whoever we are dating or married to. Why? Because we're afraid if he saw us for who we really are, he would be disappointed or not interested. I don't know about you? But I'm tired of living a hard crunchy life. So let's take a sledge hammer and whack that hard outside to pieces. You only get one life. Why spend it being someone you're not? Or spend it with someone who keeps trying to change you?

So what if I love zombies, and converse sneakers, and anime, and star trek?
So what if I'm a passionate person that likes to hold hands and cuddle.
Am I suppose to coverup my interior and pretend none of those things matter?
Have you? What was the result? I'd love to hear some of your thoughts. Feel free to post anonymously.