The unknown path

I was staring at the blank page today. It's time to start a new writing project and I was feeling a moment of uncertainty. Which project should I work on? Should I do a scifi or horror screenplay? Should I do an animated screenplay? What about a YA scifi novel? Each has its own exciting adventure, ready to pull me in. But as I reflected on the past year of a screenwriting mentorship, I had the honor of participating in, I thought about what I've learned. I grew not just as a writer, but as a person.  I have the confidence to tackle any subject and take my characters on a full emotional journey with consequences, triumphs, setbacks, losses and hope. 

The Bible says faith is the substance of things not seen. And it is. Hope is evidence of faith. In the picture above, taken at the Nature Preserve at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan, there is a path. You can't see what lies beyond the curve. You have an idea, but you really can't see. You see there is a well marked path and you walk on it, fully believing you will arrive where you plan. And you do. 

But the path of life you didn't make, God did. There's curves on that path. Areas you cannot see the outcome of. Hope is for those moments. Faith gets your feet walking. Hope gets your heart pumping. 

I hope as you go through your days this week, you remember to walk in Faith and Hope in the unseen. 

I am going to get to work on my next screenplay. 

 

Seeing with Clarity

 I live in Southern California. One of the most beautiful places on Earth. After a rainstorm passes, and the Sun comes out, you can see for miles. Most beautiful to me are the mountains. Santa Monica mountains. San Gabriel mountains. With perfect clarity, you can see the trails and roads on these mountain ranges. 

In this writing journey of mine, I’ve come to realize that the haze in my writing, was  indicative of my former way of writing:  patterning my scenes and characters after what I’d seen/read before, or worse, based off comments from other writers determined to steer me away from discovering the power of my true voice. You know, it isn’t just others that can cast this haze over our writing voice, we do it to ourselves when we doubt our talent and ability. 

You do not need validation from the world to be who God created you to be!

Let the God rain wash away doubt and feelings of inadequacy. And hey, I get it. For the longest time there was a group of authors I revered. Whose words I took as gold falling from heaven. I’d propped up each person on a pedestal. By doing this I began to believe I could never measure up to these award winning titans of writing. And it diminished my light. Haze took over. 

God has given me so much clarity this year. Allowed me to see people as they really are. Knowledge is power! God didn’t call me to live the lives of those authors. He called me to live mine. My writing has power when I write from my true self. When I let go of false narratives. Let go of thinking other writers are better than me. I am an amazing writer! 

I turned my gaze to my God given path where my purpose lies. And now, here comes the Sun. God’s word is a lamp for our feet and a light for our path. Don’t focus on others. Don’t get discouraged by others who try to pull you down. Focus on God’s light. It will never fail you. 

Straddling the line

"Do you want to get well," Jesus asked the man. This man had been waiting by a pool of water an Angel stirred (healing properties), infrequently for a long time. Yet when Jesus saw him, he asked him if he wanted to be well. I've read this verse for decades and only now understand. It has nothing to do with the man's physical infirmities, but rather the condition of his heart and mind.  

You sit by the pool daily for who knows how long, months, years and watch others get healed, yet you don't make any attempt to do anything (pray, ask for help, move an inch at a time), to get yourself closer to the pool. 

You haven't normalized failure. You've normalize not believing.

But Desiree, what does that have to do with writing?

Everything. 

There are different types of writers. 

There are writers who are stay at home parents. Writers who teach during the day and come home to write. Writers who write maybe fifteen minutes a day.  Or only on the weekends. 

There is absolutely nothing wrong with that type of writer, if writing is a secondary occupation to you.

But what if writing isn't secondary? What if you want writing to be primary?

But Desiree, there's AI, and there's not as many novels being published (scripts being optioned). There's so many writer's it's a fool's dream to think you can do this full time. 

"Do you want to get well."

Hmm.

Yes. Yes I do. 

You look at that pool long enough and you'll think it was never really meant  for you. You straddle that line of belief and disbelief long enough, your feet are stuck in cement.

You may have asked for help in the past and even had a mentor and left disappointed, unwilling to ask again, without asking yourself if you needed to grow as a writer and believe in your skills, then approach a mentor who can help you specifically in an area that you need help with.

 I get it. I live in Los Angeles. There's plenty of people willing to "help" you for just the right dollar amount. Ignore them. There's so many more that will help you for FREE. 

Plenty of book authors willing to have a conversation, or correspond with you via email for years (true story), as you grow as a writer. 

If you want to be a full time writer, it is time to stop sitting by the pool wishing someone would just help you. Stop straddling the line and plant your feet firmly on the belief side. 

I'm rooting for you.

What do I need?

 What do I need?

2023 has turned out to be a fascinating year for me. Fascinating does not always carry a positive connotation. This has been a year of both joy and upheaval. What do you need? As I received news a week ago that shifted my world as I knew it, off of its axis, I had to think about what do I need? What do I really need? And the answers have surprised me. I literally had to, as one of my favorite songs says “go back to my roots”. I remembered the me that played with a chemistry set at age 4. The me that gathered the neighborhood kids together to put on a play that I had written at age 8. The me that spent my childhood, sitting outside, staring up through my telescope at the moon and dreamed of space travel. For as much as my world was knocked off its axis, it needed to be. My world was revolving in the wrong direction. It is now on its perfect course and I am so thankful to God that it is. 

MLK Day is Just Another School Holiday

MLK Day is just another school holiday By Desiree Middleton copyright 2020 I was going to skim the internet and copy and past another banal platitude to MLK that ended with “black power”, or “Happy MLK day”, or “Black lives matter”, but the state of the nation and the world made me question what the point was. Why does anyone celebrate MLK day? Is it just another school holiday, or should it still matter? And if it should matter, why should anyone care? At least a dozen times a day, I hear the N-word used by students. Casual banter with their classmates. Hurled at each other as insults. When corrected by myself or other students, the perpetrators usually apologize. But in ALL cases, an hour later, a day later, they are back to using that word. I’ve erased the N word off of tables and out of books. Sometimes my name and a not nice picture of me is attached. Sometimes students erase it before I see it, warning me to stay away while they erase it—telling me after what it said. “I want you to understand the history of that word”, I’d say to the perpetrators. Or, “Here is why that word is offensive to me”. Social media and television continue to paint a picture of African Americans as whores and gang bangers. “Say something ghetto,” a student once told me. Now, today’s youth are not the only ones who have a skewed sense of what an African American is. My own culture group does as well. “Ugh, she’s at the beach sitting in the sun. Doesn't she know she’s black?” “Why do you talk like white people?” “Why don’t you write about (anything related to slavery), instead of this horror stuff?” Or what I heard growing up: “Why do you read so much?” So when it comes to MLK day do I go to the African American museum and read aloud, I have a dream, because it’s expected of me as an African American? The affluent African Americans from Beverly Hills will make their appearance at the museum and at parades. Shake hands. Even have a repas with middle and lower socioeconomic African Americans. Then the economic classes will divide like the Red Sea. Those affluent folk will get in their Mercedes while the others will hop the blue line or bus (or Prius), to go home; never to mix again until next MLK day. That’s the real tragedy. Or do I take what MLK stood for, and others after him, and put it into practice? As I write this I am listening to an African American cellist. Ooh he’s doing a non-African American thing. Watch out! I’ve seen enough in this world in the time I’ve been alive to know that equality is a moving target. That African American women have suffered atrocities so horrifying, reading eye witness accounts of them will make you physically ill. And I’ve seen hope. Hope is like a wildfire. It needs only the tiniest spark and breath of life to become alive. I choose hope. MLK had a dream. Along the way this country lost sight of that. Let MLK day be your reminder. Move past retweeting or posting an MLK speech. Do something to uplift someone.

The End of the Line

Well it's December 31st. The last day of the old year.
2010 was an excruciating year for me. I learned a lot, but I would not like to repeat the experience.
2010 also brought me some victories:
1. Finished my first young adult fantasy novel.
2. Finished and submitted a science fiction short story.
3. Completed a screenplay in 9 days. Wait, 9 days? When did that happen? Last night/this morning at 12:45 am. I tasked myself with the goal of finishing a screenplay by New Year's Eve. I gave myself two weeks to complete it, as I was on vacation from work.
I did it in 9 days. Full length, feature screenplay. I never dreamed I would be able to do something as extensive as a screenplay in 9 days, but I did. (Course now the competitive person in me is wondering if I can do one in 7 days.)
4. Finding out my blog has been read by readers all over the world.

Is it time for me to take a bow? No. I wasn't able to do any of the above without God pushing and encouraging me along the way.

This morning I sat in Panera with my spiral notebook, and my 2011 calendar, planning out my writing projects for the year.
I have to admit it was hard. Was I out of ideas? No, quite the contrary, I had too many that were crying "me first", "me first".

As I have decided that the script I just finished I will be submitting to the Nicholls fellowship (after editing of course), I need to write another script along that genre-young adult, dark drama.
After that I am still in the deciding mode. I'll pull my spiral and calendar back out in the morning and finalize my writing timeline for 2011. Tonight I'm chewing over the ideas I have.

New Year's Eve. I am so excited about the potential of 2011.

As I sit down tonight to watch back to back action movies (sci fi and regular action), in the back of my mind one high-concept, action screenplay is trying to get my attention. Pick me to write first, it says. Let's blow stuff up, it says. Nobody's done it this way before, it says.
C'mon, you know you wanna, it says. And you know what? It's right.
Here's wishing you and yours a happy New Year's Eve and looking forward to an action packed 2011.

What you know, not what you see

John 14:1-3, Jesus is speaking to the disciples about not being afraid, and to believe in Him. That He is going away to prepare a place for them and that He will come back.
Why did Jesus go through all the trouble of telling them this? Because very soon He would be betrayed and crucified. His body would die and the disciples would begin to doubt. Jesus told them these things because He knew on the third day He would (and did) rise again. He spoke these words to them to give them hope and for them to reflect on in the coming dark days.
Application: Trust in what you know, not what you see.

Today I went and got a hot fudge brownie sundae-before dinner. It was wonderful. All that gooey hot fudge, that thick brownie topped with vanilla bean ice cream, whip cream, peanuts and cherries. Oh yes, I was in the zone.
It was a treat to myself, something I don't often do and should do.

I had just read part of a book on novel writing and was inspired by the end of the book interviews with best selling authors. The author of the book asked them the same questions but it was surprising how many had similar answers. Best way to improve as a writer: Read and write. Best way to succeed: Hard work and effort. Have I heard these before? Yes, but two of the authors were some I had fond memories of reading in my childhood: Dean Koontz (Phantoms gave me nightmares when I read it and Watchers is my favorite book of his), and Richard Matheson (I Am Legend -say no more). Robert Liparulo is a current author I am reading and I think he would agree that hard work and never giving up are key.
It helps to know that you are on the same wavelength so to speak.

Trust in what I know, not what I see. Many of the author's interviewed for the book struggled through what I am facing now-time to write, doubts about the quality of their work, rejection letters.

Application point from Jesus's words to the disciples and in effect, to us:
Whatever it is He has put upon your heart to do. That one thing that make you burst out in laughter, or smile, or makes your heart race. That one thing that consumes your waking thoughts (or like me you dream about your novel). That one thing you focus your monetary resources on- in the words of Yoda :don't try, do. Do it with your whole heart and your whole being. Otherwise what's the point?

No more of this "well I guess I'll give it a shot." What will it hurt to go all out for what God has placed on your heart? Will it be easy? No. Will you come against resistance? Yes at first, but thinking back to Joshua when he had the troops and the priests march around the walls of Jericho-that wasn't easy. He had to trust in what he was told, not an impenetrable wall he could see. And on the 6th day they gave a shout and the walls came down. Just like God said.

Step of Faith

Step of Faith
I read a blog this morning about a woman who made a career change. She felt God calling her to somethng else and stepped out in faith to pursue another career.
I thought to myself, that's so wonderful but she has a husband paying the mortgage and other bills while she establishes herself in her new career. What about me? I have no husband to pay my rent while I pursue being a full time writer. So why is God calling me to do this when He knows I'm not able to?
Then it hit me. If I could do it on my own, where is the need for faith?
In James 2:17 it states that faith without works is dead. So I can say "Yes Lord, I hear you calling me to be a full time writer", but if I don't back that up with the action God is asking of me then I really don't have faith.
I can write and write and write, but until I let go of the "security" of a biweekly paycheck, I'm not stepping out in faith. I have to stop worrying about how the rent is going to get paid and instead, trust God and do what I know He is asking me to.
So the question is: when will I step out in faith?