True change is hard and it takes time. For me it was 3 years. I'm not perfect. Not 100% where I want to be, but I am on target.
I think change comes as a consequence of trials. In trials you have two choices: fight/stand or flight.
You may be tired, and weary but I urge you by the power of Jesus to stand.
Ephesians 6:10-18 speaks of putting on the full armor of God.
A soldier would never go into battle without his armor so why would you insist on trying to change, go through trials designed to change you, without your armor?
Put it on. Sharpen your Sword-the word of God, polish your shield-faith in Jesus.
Now that your armor is on, don't forget to check it from time to time. Keep it sharp and shiny. Pray. Read your bible. Spend some time at church around other believers who can help recharge your battery.
Hold fast to that dream God placed within you. He designed you for a purpose. Seek and pursue it with every fiber of your being. You are special. And you are loved.